"The menu is not a canvas for your wildest imagination, unfortunately." H/T Quora
A recent Quora thread asked servers what unwritten rules they wish customers would abide by — or, in other words, what things they find super annoying. Here are the best responses: 1. When people stroll in and sit at a dirty table. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
"First of all, it’s gross. Why would you sit yourself down in someone else’s mess?
"Second of all, if it’s not clean, we aren’t ready for you at that table yet. Now someone has to awkwardly bus the table and wipe it down while your impatient ass just sits there being all in-the-way."
2. Or when a group sits at an empty table without talking to the host or hostess. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
"If you see a table with no one at it, that is not necessarily your table! There might be a reservation plotted for your table later that night. The restaurant limits how many people can sit in each time-block."
3. When someone makes a million changes to an order. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
"The menu is not a canvas for your wildest imagination, unfortunately. I have come across customers who ask what ingredients do we have, and start building their own portion based on them.
"I know the struggle of being a hard customer and not being able to take whatever from the menu due to dangerous allergies, but don’t be picky in vain. The staff is usually crowded with special orders anyway."
4. Or when a customer orders something that's not even on the menu. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
"I’ve run into so many situations where customers want to make up their own dish that isn’t on the menu (ordering fish and chips at an Italian restaurant). Perhaps it’s because they don’t know how to read, and therefore can’t understand anything the menu says. That menu is there for a reason. Read it. This is not a private chef service."
5. When someone makes a list of incredibly annoying demands as if the restaurant was their own home. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
"When you request that we turn down the music, turn up the lights, or adjust the heat/air conditioning, you should know that we may not be able to make this accommodation, even if you ask nicely. If you go on to demand such accommodations, you’re not only disrespecting us (because you’re essentially treating the restaurant like your house, and us like servants who run it for you), you’re also disrespecting the other guests (because they may not desire the same accommodations that you desire)."
6. When people lie about allergies. If the truth is you don't like a food, then just say that. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
New Line Cinema / Via giphy.com
"Say you don’t like bell pepper. The amount of work that happens in the kitchen is hardly ever seen in the dining room. Respect the staff by not adding to that amount of work if it’s not necessary."
7. When a group shows up minutes before closing. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
"If Google says that the restaurant closes at 11, the right time to order is not three minutes before closing. The staff are not people willing to work every single day overtime like they had no life of their own."
8. When a person snaps their fingers at the waitstaff. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
"Don’t ever snap your fingers at a server, bartender, anyone. Ever."
9. When a customer addresses their server as "waiter" or "waitress." Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
"This is basic human respect. I will openly ignore such requests for my attention, and you’ll be waiting a while for me to come back."
10. When customers try to help with something and just get in the way. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
"I hated when customers tried to help me. Don't get me wrong. I appreciated the sentiment, but when a customer took things from my tray or grabbed things from my hand it became dangerous."
11. When people touch their server. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
"I'm not to be touched. I don't like it, and I'm not your pet. I'm not your buddy, baby, friend, or lover."
12. When people try to steal seats at the bar. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
"Understand that when the bar is full, the bar is full. No, I'm not going to go and 'see if anyone's done' at the bar so you can squeeze in for free corn chips at happy hour. I've politely told you you're more than welcome to stand at the bar, but all the seats are taken. And for the love of god, don't try to take other customers' seats while they're in the bathroom."
13. Or when they request multiple seat changes. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
"Please accept where I seat you. I understand you want a booth. But we only have four, and by dinnertime, I've already reserved them for my six other 6:30 reservations. And if you're a party of two, you're going to get placed at a two top. Not a full-size table."
Basically, be an understanding and decent human being and all will be well! Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
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